The Aftermath
by punkette kagome
Summary: This is just scenes of the ending of the book that were not in the book. Things i wanted to see and so i thought I'd write it out. There is a bit more of Jesse in here. I think it's worth the read so take a look!


**The Aftermath**

_KATE_

When I was told that Anna had died I swear a part of me died too. It was never supposed to be this way. And for that reason I started to blame myself. If I hadn't told her to stop helping me, if I hadn't told her to fight for her body, so that her situation as the donor would stop, she never would have been at the courts late with Campbell that day. She would have never been in that car, in that intersection when the BMW got t-boned by that stupid truck. She would have been in my hospital room with me cracking jokes about the most unlikely celebrity boxing matchups.

If only I hadn't told her to let me die, then maybe she would still be alive.

I feel close to death myself but I have a chance to live now. Because Anna is considered brain-dead her organs are to be donated. She won't be coming back because what makes Anna Anna has already left her body. She's gone forever and by leaving she has given me one more chance to live.

At first I didn't want her kidney. I believed that it was supposed to be me who dies and so I was planning on following Anna all the way up there in heaven, but my family came together in a peculiar way after Anna's death. Jesse came to me and held me tight saying he couldn't lose both his sisters. And so I fought. I took Anna's kidney as her last gift to me and at first I was sure that there was no use that I was meant to die as well. And then the miracle happened. I started to heal and get better.

This all took place over a long stretch of time. After the transplant I was very sick and when Anna's funeral was dated a week after her death I was too weak to go to it. But I knew that I had to be there. If I wasn't at Anna's funeral then I shouldn't be alive at all. That was my own resolve and so I fought tooth and nail to get my parents and doctors to let me go.

It was a week after she died. That Thursday will be a day that I will remember for the rest of my life. It was raining just as hard as it rained the day that my sister had died. It is the perfect atmosphere for a funeral, because if the sun shone then I'd say that the gods were mocking our loss. This way we know that even the heavens are crying for the loss of the bravest person I'll ever know. Someone who—out of nothing but the goodness of her heart—ran head first into a life of pain for thirteen long years, with absolutely no complaints only for my sake.

Before we get to the funeral I have to be hooked onto many machines just so that I don't collapse or flat line myself. I know I look like a mess but I don't care who stares at me today. My sister died, today is her funeral, not even god could keep me from this place.

When I'm pushed into the funeral home by my mother we don't say a word to each other. Everyone is silent. Tears fall from every single person in the room and I'm scared to go up to the front where my sister is lying. As if she just fell asleep and is so fast asleep that we can't wake her up.

How did it turn out like this? I always thought it would be Anna saying bye to me. I always knew it would be that way so I never braced myself to say good-bye. Now here I was, having to say it to Anna who by all counts was the healthiest she could possibly be.

Just goes to show you how unpredictable life can be. Here I was a cancer patient on the cusps of death looking down at the body of my sister who is now long gone. And there was Anna sleeping now for eternity as _I_ watch her; the one person who I bet every person in the room expected to be sleeping where Anna sleeps.

The tears fall down my face as I hold her hands. They're cold, as cold as my own heart is without her around.

_JESSE_

Kate was in dialysis at the same moment that Anna was in the car crash though I didn't know of this at the time.

I had gone to the hospital to be with Kate because everyone else was at the court hearing for the closing statements. When mom and dad came to the hospital after the court case I had disappeared. I went down to the cafeteria and when I got fed up with the looks I was getting for holding an unlit cigarette in my mouth I wandered outside. I stood under the stoop so that I could light up my cigarette. As I sit there and thinking about what has happened between my father and me I start to tear up again.

I always believed that I was worthless. I was never able to save Kate and because of it I never got acknowledge by my parents. After Kate got diagnosed our family was focused solely on her. I guess I could understand that since Kate did have _cancer_ but couldn't my parents try a little harder?

They acknowledged Anna because she was what I wasn't a perfect match. I guess for a while of my childhood I resented both of my sisters, but now thinking about it at least I didn't have that responsibility. I know I'd give my own heart to either one of them if they needed it. They are and always will be my family and if ever they need me I'll be there for them in a split second. But unlike Anna—who was born for the sole purpose to save Kate—I was just there as an extra member of the family, a burden that was often forgotten.

As I take a drag of the smoke and feel it filter through me I see my father run past me. To him I may be a little less invisible after our confrontation about the fires but right now he doesn't even see me. It must be a call. I highly doubt there could be a fire though since I'm sitting right here and the rain is too heavy for anything to actually catch.

I sat there for almost twenty minutes after my father leaves before I wander back into the hospital. I make my way up to the floor where Kate resides. The door to her room is left ajar. She must be done with her dialysis I assume otherwise the door would be shut. I get closer to the door and I hear the sobs of my mother.

This isn't new to me. I hear my mother cry all the time but there is something different about the sound I hear today. It isn't sobs of sadness but sobs of regret and anger at herself?

I wonder what exactly happened with the case today. I guess I can't really ask mom at the moment. Maybe when Anna gets here I can ask her. Then before I walk away I hear my mom's voice. It sounds broken and nothing at all like I'm used to hearing it.

"I'm sorry Kate, I'm sorry I didn't know how you felt," she said to Kate. I peered into the room and saw that my mother was holding Kate in her arms. Kate looked so pale and fragile in my mother's arms as if she would break with any sudden movements.

"It's not your fault mom. You didn't give me this disease. And besides I've accepted my fate. I don't want the family breaking apart because of me," said Kate as she smiled at my mom. It was as if she was happy for what reason I don't know.

I turn to leave when I see Caesar one of the firefighters that's in my father's team come running towards me. I assume he's going to Kate's room and then my whole body goes still. Did something happen to my father?! I feel a jolt as I stop Caesar but he runs right past me towards Kate's room. Once again I'm invisible but I don't care about that I run after him and I barely register what Caesar has blurted out to my mom. All I hear is _Anna_ and _accident_. Now another chill runs down my spine and I run down to the emergency room. My sister was in an accident. There I see Anna being wheeled away on a stretcher and my father frantically trying to go after her but he's held back by other firefighters.

Unexpected tears well my eyes. I wipe them away as I stand there. I don't know where to go or if I can go up to my father. Then I hear my mother's frantic cry, _"Where is she? What happened?"_

The expression on my father's face is something that'll haunt me forever I'm sure. It was as if he was breaking apart and I'm sure he was. Anna was at the scene where he was called.

I head back up to Kate's room where she's been sitting on her bed unable to go anywhere because of the IV stuck to her arm. When she sees me in the room her eyes go big with anticipation.

"What's going on?" she asks me and I don't know what to say.

"Anna's been in an accident," I say and I walk over to her and for the first time in a long time I hold Kate in my arms and let the tears fall.

"Jess is she okay!?"

"I don't know," I say as I see Anna being wheeled away in my mind. Anna looked like she was sleeping. I may not be a doctor but I do know that when you suffer head trauma you never go to sleep or that's the end. How can these people let Anna sleep like that?! Do they not know that she can die that way?

We're still sitting like that when my parents both come into Kate's room. Dad was so traumatized that he couldn't even look at us. Mom was shaking but she walked over to the bed and looked at both of us.

"I don't know if you've heard this but Anna was in an accident."

"I know I was there when they wheeled her in. Is she alright? Mom how bad is Anna?" I ask. Kate has gone silent.

A heavy silence hums around the room and then my mom speaks again. "Anna is brain dead, meaning that her brain pretty much shut down. Anna's gone," she says between wracking sobs. My own heart tightens as I hear those words and I storm out of the room.

Damnit, damnit, damnit! Why the fuck is this world so goddamn unfair! First Kate get's cancer, then I get ignored and now Anna... Anna's dead. Goddamnit! I can't stand it. I run down the hall and head for the exit door. I stand out in the rain and hope that it can wash away everything. I want to be numb maybe at least then I won't feel the pain that I feel all throughout my body.

_BRIAN_

When we're in that ambulance I sit there and watch my baby. She looked so peaceful as she was being hooked to an oxygen mask. An IV was being pushed into her arm by Red. Everything is done by procedure but all I can think is that I've done something wrong. If I wasn't such an emotional wreck I could be happy with the job I did, but this wasn't just any patient this was my baby girl.

I zone out during the ride over to the hospital. When we're there I'm still sitting in the ambulance when she's pulled out. Red taps me on the shoulder.

"Cap are you okay?" he asked. I'm sure he's trying to be comforting but it doesn't help me at all. I flip out and sprint out of the ambulance after my daughter.

I'm followed by most of my team who make it to me just as I'm about to go after Anna. They hold me back and soon I hear the shrill cry of my wife.

"_Where is she? What happened?"_

I turn around and feel ashamed to look at her. If only I'd gotten there sooner. If I had stayed with Anna while they filled out the papers she might not be in the state that she was in right now. I look up then and tell her.

"A car accident," I manage. "I didn't know who it was until I got there." The tears start to fall then as I look at my wife. She's just as torn as I am and we find each other in the middle of that emergency room. I hold her in my arms and we both cry. I cry because I know that my daughter is no longer breathing on her own. The only thing keeping her body alive is the machines.

I'm crying because I know that my daughter is gone from this world. While I'm sure my wife is crying because she now has two children admitted in this hospital. We hold each other and the rest of the world has been blurred away until I hear Campbell. I look up and see him; his arm is in a cast and his clothes are bloodied. And I wonder if that is Anna's blood on his clothes and I just lose it.

I know my sobs are wracking my body uncontrollably but you don't know what it's like. Every parent never wishes to outlive their children. We are the ones who are supposed to die first.

"Where is Anna?!" asked Campbell and I just can't answer because if I have to tell him then I have to tell Sara and I just don't have that in me, but my silence seems to be enough to tell Campbell the truth.

I hear him whisper. "Oh Jesus..." his face trembles and many emotions wash over his face. "Oh God, no!" He collapses to the ground where his battered dog sits beside him whining.

The doctor comes to find us as we stand there. He saves me the trouble of explaining to Sara what exactly has happened to Anna and she is stunned. She grasps at those words and her body goes limp in my arms.

This is when our family became both separated and so closely sewn together. When we knew Anna was brain dead there was nothing left of her here in our world. To keep her body living would be a painful reminder to all of us that Anna will never come back. So we put her to sleep the last time that day. I had to turn off the switch as Sara and I stood on either side of our youngest daughter. Sara held her hand as I touched her hair. Jesse was standing in one corner of the room watching us. He left before we turned off the machine but I knew he was going to Kate. He couldn't leave us now, not when we already lost Anna. I'm glad he's here. I don't think I'd have been able to do anything if all my children weren't with me.

I kissed Anna once more before I heard the monitor flat line. There was an utter sense of loss. Anna was no longer with us and I realize then that all this was for nothing. My daughter who fought to have her own independence died before she had a chance to make a choice. She died because some careless driver wasn't more careful during the rain and killed her. And in the end someone else made the decision that she fought so hard to have. Someone other than Anna decided whether her kidney should be donated or not.

I wondered how, if there was a god that, He could be so cruel in the fate of a thirteen year old girl and our family.

_SARA_

For fourteen years of my life I have anticipated the loss of a child. I have tried to prepare myself mentally for the loss of a child because I knew that she was already dying a little more each day. So when I heard the news that it was Anna who was more or less dead I just couldn't handle it. How could I lose the one hope I have to save my other daughter?

I know it's a horrible thing to think of but it's been drilled in to me for thirteen years that Anna would be the saviour to my eldest daughter. With her gone so was any chance to save Kate as well. But then I realized I would never see my baby again. Anna who was always the anchor in our family would never walk through the door wearing her favourite ratty jersey from hockey practice smiling about how she saved all her shots.

I would never see her grow up into a young woman, never get the chance to see her in a prom dress. I will never be able to see my youngest daughter get married and have her heart broken by her first crush. I'll never be able to do any of the normal things that I never hoped to see Kate do. But with Kate she was still alive and has already experienced some things I never expected her to experience.

She got to go to her prom though years too early and she found a boyfriend and had her first crush. All the things I expected Anna to have were given to Kate and it hurt to know that I never did anything more for Anna. Her life was shorter than Kate's and I never once tried to fill it as I did Kate's.

I started to resent myself. I was never a good mother to her. I tried my hardest but it was just never good enough. Kate just took up too much of my attention that I never had any for her and now it's too late.

When Brian turned off the machines that were keeping Anna's body alive I felt my own heart stop for a second. The beat of my heart slowed and I wished that god had taken me not her. I wasn't able to save Kate and now even Anna as well. How was this fair? Our family has tried so hard to be normal. We've tried so hard to give our kids everything despite of the sickness but even as we start to get better something else decide to knock us back down.

First Kate got diagnosed with APL, then throughout the years Jesse starts to act up and Brian and I both just give up on him and now our youngest... dies because of a stupid driver. The most ironic part is that she died because she was trying to help her sister get her last wish; to end her own misery. Anna went through that whole trial because Kate wanted to end all of Anna's suffering. How twisted can fate be I wonder?

In the week that we wait while Kate gets her transplant all it ever did was rain. When I wasn't in the hospital with Kate I was at home locked up in my room crying. Brian picked up any shifts he could at the station because he couldn't stand our house anymore it was just too big without her. Jesse stopped going out. He decided to move back into our house and tossed practically everything that was in the attic above the garage into the trash.

He realized that life was too short to toss aside. I'm sure we've all learned that from Anna.

I am happy that even though we'll never get Anna back she gave us all a gift that we won't ever forget: the bond of a family.

Ever since she's been gone we've all been together as much as possible if not physically then emotionally. And I know that Kate must be taking it the hardest because deep down she believes it's her own fault. Brian and I both have told her many times that God decided it was Anna's time to go not us. We wouldn't have been able to stop it if we wanted to. We say these words to Kate even though we ourselves can't believe that God would want to take Anna away.

After Kate had the transplant we all hoped that she would recover. We hoped that the death of one child could ultimately save the other. And for a while we thought that we would lose Kate as well. I know she didn't talk about her own health but I could tell that Kate believed it was her time to go too. So when the day of Anna's funeral arrived Kate fought everyone and everything that was standing in her way until she was allowed to go to the funeral.

She knew that it would be disrespectful not to go see Anna on her last day with us. It would be the worst thing for her to not see Anna off. It took a lot of persuasion to get Dr. Chance to agree, but with the help of Brian, myself and Campbell we were able to get her to leave the hospital. She had to be in a wheelchair and hooked up to many machines that were wheeled right beside her.

When we left to go to the funeral Brian and Jesse were silent. They wouldn't speak about anything and I didn't expect them to. I on the other hand was fussing over Kate. The habitual reaction to my eldest daughter took place and I went over her machines. I hadn't realized how much it was an old routine until I realized I was waiting for Anna to tease me on being like a mother hen. When I didn't hear her voice I felt my eyes water as I fell silent too.

I miss Anna so much that no words will ever be able to describe.

When we get into the funeral home our family were all together like a united front facing the worst which in many ways we were. Brian is holding my hand as I push Kate. Jesse is walking silently beside us as we go up to the front. No one speaks in the pews and I'm too distracted to even know who showed up for the funeral.

Knowing Anna she must have already thought of how her funeral would be like. But one thing I bet she didn't think was that her sister Kate would be there to watch her. She probably thought of all the people that would show up to her funeral but not the one person who she loved the most in the world. As we walked towards the open casket I looked down at Kate. She seemed paler than usual and I know it's not cause of the transplant. Kate, just like the rest of us, thought that she would be sleeping there in that casket.

I couldn't help the tears as they fell. Losing a child is something no parent wishes to face, I say this from experience. When we're standing in front of Anna all I can think is that she's sleeping. She's just slept in like she always does. She'll wake up in a bit, but when I touch her hand like Kate just did I know that she's sleeping never to wake up again.

My baby girl is never going to come back to me and I regret not spending more time with her. I just hope that she'll forgive me and never leave us. I know Anna has always been a strong girl so she'll be okay by herself up in heaven but our family won't be okay without her.

Anna is sleeping so peacefully that I want to just crawl in with her like I would when she's sleeping at home in her bed. I break down as I watch her and Brian takes me in his arms and I feel just as empty as I did when I heard that Anna was gone.

_CAMPBELL_

Anna's death will always be on my consciousness because I wasn't able to save her. That woman who had driven out of nowhere left me no manoeuvring room and she had crashed right into the passenger side of my BMW. I didn't even notice Anna because I was smashed against the steering wheel. It wasn't until I was in the hospital that I realized that Anna had been with me too. When in finally got word of her I realized that it was too late. Anna was no longer with us.

I think that to this day I will always feel her presence near me. Anna was such a unique person and such a loving sister that she just couldn't disappear altogether. I still remember her as she walked into my office. She reminded me of a girl scout selling cookies. I remember walking into my office and seeing her polishing my door knobs as her way of paying me back for my services to her. She was the type of person who would never take without giving a person who always gave first before taking. The type of person who will always be remembered even though she's long gone.

I wish that there could be some type of memorial service for her more than just the funeral service that's taking place today. I can't bear to go but if I don't I will never be able to forgive myself. Jewel had stayed by my side since I found out about Anna.

She hasn't left my place making sure that Judge and I were still alive. She was holding my hand now as we sat in the pews watching the Fitzgerald family enter the funeral home. You could feel the sadness in the air and the amazing warmth of love that they emit for Anna.

Anna didn't know how much her family loved her because Kate was always just a little more important in her eyes. But now they were all here for her, even her sister who was only barely grasping to her life was there to say good-bye and good night for the last time.

When the service was done I went to the Fitzgerald's and gave them my condolences but I just felt like a monster since I was the one who caused Anna's death. If I had paid attention it might have been a different outcome. Anna might still be here with us.

Sara had tried to keep her composure. I saw it in her face and also saw it break when she saw me. I will always hold that over my head. If only drove slower then I wouldn't have been at that intersection. If only I had taken the long way back to her house. There were so many things I wish I could redo in my life but none had such drastic consequences other than losing Jewel all those years ago.

As we're about to leave I go back to Anna once more and just look at her. I pull out a miniature hockey figurine. It was wearing goalie equipment and I also laid the next season's box seat passes. "So you can still come watch the game even from heaven," I whisper and I know that she can hear me. The tears fall unconsciously but I don't care. This little girl showed me that love is unconditional and worthwhile. The fears from love get outweighed by the simply and raw emotion that is formed by a strong bond.

Anna Fitzgerald is not just a fourteen year old girl who died in an accident she was a girl who embodied love in its most rawest form and if you had ever had the chance to meet her you would know that she loved with no inhibitions. That was why god had taken her back because he just wanted someone like her to stay close to Him.

Jewel and I leave without saying anything else. What more could I say other than I'm sorry, if I could I would take her place in an instant.

But that was not going to happen anymore because Anna was already gone.

_KATE_

It's been years now since Anna had passed, and almost every day I wonder if I'm going to relapse. But Anna's kidneys were inside of me and they had rebooted my system. All the doctors were curious as to why in all seriousness I was still alive.

In all scientific reasoning I should have died back when I was five but I didn't and the only reason was because Anna was there. Every year that I lived was because Anna had been by my side and now with her me now until the end of my time I know I'll be around for a while.

We all know that the only reason I am still here was because god just needed someone to go and so Anna went instead of me.

Mom has gone back to practicing law now that I seemed to recover. She's gotten a lot better since Anna's death. At first she would just stay at home stuck in her room and Jesse and I could hear the soft sobs drifting out of her room.

Dad had for a long time stayed at the fire house. He just didn't feel like the house was full enough to stay there. Anna was such a vital part of our life that with her gone you could feel it in every pore of your body. But after a few weeks Dad finally come back it was when I finally came out of my relapse that dad came back. With the chemo finished my hair had started to grow back. We were all slowly drifting back into a normal family.

Jess moved back into the house and all those drugs that he used had been cleaned out of his system. He put all his ingenious inventive abilities into school and is working his way into the crime fighting business.

We all came together in a time of loss and sorrow. Anna who had always been the anchor in our family had brought us even closer. Even though it breaks my heart to say that when she left our family grew closer and that was because we saw how short life could be and we had to cherish every moment for it's worth.

We kept in contact with Campbell and Julia for a while and after they had their baby we visited a few time but after awhile it just got too hard. To see them only reminded us of Anna and so after a while we just kind of lost touch of each other.

We weren't able to hold a memorial for Anna like we all wished but we did have our own way of celebrating her. We would go to every hockey game during the season and on her birthday we would spend the night out camping under the starry sky knowing that somewhere in the vast universe the Andromeda Galaxy would be shinning bright just like Anna seeing that it was her namesake.

This was our way of keeping Anna close to us every year.

I know that when I go up to heaven however long I have left Anna will be there waiting for me. She'll have that smile on her face and I will fall comfortably into place beside her talking about everything and absolutely nothing. I long to be there but I know I have to live my life if not for me then for Anna and Taylor both who left way too soon.

Till my last breath I will tell the world of my brave younger sister who fought for me who ultimately died for me. She has already become a hero in our family but by the time I'm done I'll make sure that the whole world knows that she was a hero.

-

**A/N: Okay so I read this book before the movie came out and I literally cried at the ending of the book. And because I read the book first I had doubts about the movie. I mean come on how many time does the movie outdo the book? Not many. And so when I watched the movie I was really upset since they totally changed the ending and even took out Julia! I wanted to scream. I mean the movie was still good and all but I was biased with reading the book. **

**Anyways I just thought I'd add in a bit of scenes that I wanted in the book that weren't like the funeral. I thought I captured the characters well but that's just me. Tell me what you thought and whether you like the book or the movie better!?**


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